In which I discuss that sickness called "home" and my resolutions

Right about now... I'm supposed to be studying for midterms. But who actually studies when they have to? *Get's a message from mom* Oh right... good students do. But seriously... Who is a good student when studying abroad?
Since it is likely that I will die tomorrow (from my Korean midterm for the class that I am waaay out of my league in), I want to skip a few months ahead to the present to commemorate my time here, as well as the time marking 2 months until I hop on a plane and head home.

First I would like to address the issue of my declining English skills. For this I apologize (I just misspelled that 3 times as I write this, fyi), but I can do nothing about it. I live in a house with 22 people, 19 of them speaking English as a second language. If I ask you to "take me a picture" or tell you something is "not possible" or tell you to go "ask the Tommy", just do as I do and understand. 이해해 제발! :-) Really... I forget words a lot these days. I guess I've watered down my vocabulary to just below average. Better start reading Dickens and Austen, eh?

I'm getting... I wouldn't say scared... but apprehensive about coming home. I've always heard you get reverse culture-shock. You get depressed. And I believe it! Sure, I'm looking forward to it! I think about it these days way more than before. I see home in nearly everything. I ride a bus and see trees by the highway... I'm in Tennessee. I'm eating cheese... I'm in America. I listen to a song... I'm in my room. I eat some American food... I'm in my house. Then I see our dirty kitchen, and I am roughly returned to my lovely dormhouse in Anyang, South Korea. Ha.

Before, I wouldn't have told you this since I felt bad about it, but I didn't miss home at all. It's not that I didn't love everybody, of course, but I just didn't think about it much. These days, I get this feeling that it would be great to be home... in two months. Maybe... it's homesickness? You may laugh, but I don't even know what it feels like, honestly! I've not had any semblance of homesickness since I was in first grade, crying for my mom at my friend's house during a thunderstorm. But, no lie, I'm happy here! I wouldn't go home now, even if I had the chance. But let's just say... I'm happy that I'm going home in 2 months.

Buuuuut I'm not. I'm torn up at the thought of leaving these people!

Of leaving this place...

Honestly, I hardly remember my one semester of dorm life. I'm more of an Anyang student than a Tech student! I've only gone to one semester of Tech and two here! I'm not sure how easy it will be going back to a place that requires a car to go everywhere. Though my parents are amazing... they're not restrictive except where it's necessary... I just don't know what it will be like to live in a house under authority again.

But I sure look forward to the food... Sometimes I look at my lackluster one-panned meals and think "참아야지" (chamayaji, "just endure it..."). ㅋㅋ.

And right here, though I'm afraid to do this since my mom reads this, haha, I want to tell you a few things I've  learned and want to put into practice when I get home. (Anything thing you read after this point cannot be used against me as a tool of coercion or guilt tripping in ANY way and ANY point). :-P

So I'm not sure if this is just a phenomenon of being away from home, but when I go back, I really want to help more around the house. I mean, honestly, it's not that hard. Especially if you just keep stuff clean! I'm afraid (and a little embarrassed to admit) that I wouldn't help much at home without being asked. But seriously, picking up a broom and just doing a quick sweep around the kitchen takes what... 2 minutes? And why not do the dishes? Would it kill ya? For all the people who grew up never resenting chores... congratulations. I hate to say it took me this long to mature.

Second, I want to share more. Despite my mother's great attempts to deter it's appearance, the selfishness that so permeates American culture has become ingrained in me. Of course, this in itself is human nature, but I feel like America especially is extreme in selfishness. Korea's got the sharing thing down pretty well. I think I've explained this before... how people share dishes usually in restaurants, how they offer each other food, how they buy things for others. I honestly can hardly believe that at one point in my short life I told my brother "No, you can't taste it! It's mine!" That is unimaginable to me now. HOW could I have been such a bad example to my brother? That I will change... have changed already.

I want to learn to cook! Being here has definitely made me want to know more dishes. I've got to learn how to do that thing where all the dishes of a multi-dish meal come out that the same time. Seriously. I already experienced that thing where Koreans asked me incredulously "You have to use a recipe?" lol.

And finally something else I've learned here. I found out that I'm capable. I have much to learn, but I am an adult, no matter how much my culture tell's me otherwise. Yes, I still like to be silly, watch kids' movies, squeal at incredibly cute things, jump up and down in excitement, be creative and artsy whether it concerns cardboard boxes on a rainy day or making weird noodly hotdogs or hotdoggy noodles, and yes, I am naive. Just try and convince me that that's a bad thing. While I may have had apprehensions about living alone, or handling my own finances one day before coming here, I don't anymore. Partly because now I know I can do it, but mostly because I know that God has given me these abilities as gifts.

And that leads into my last thing. I want to be more involved in ministry of the church. My spiritual journey here I count as the most important part, rather than "finding myself" or learning basic manners, ha. But if you do want to know more about what I've learned spiritually through this, I'll ask you to talk to me personally. I'd love to tell you! But just know that God has been so faithful to me. I've had ups and downs like everyone does, but He was my rock throughout all of it. He is the reason I'm here, and He's the reason I return! And anything good I learned here, I credit to His work.

Thanks for hanging in there! I know today was long, and mostly serious. But this is a serious subject for me. I've lived here for a year, and it's a big deal to me. It's difficult to evaluate it, and I still have 2 months to include when I get home! It's not over yet :-)


MUSIC :-)
Not a video ㅠㅠ (korean style tears aka :'-( ) but I love the sound of the song, especially the whistling :-)

Laoshan and Embarrassment

This day... was embarrassing. That's all I can tell you, really. I mean, it was nice, but it was embarrassing. At least I got to take some pretty pictures...

Why was it embarrassing? Well it started with our guides. We had these Korean student guides from day 1, but they only accompanied us when we went on school trips. Well, I was feeling sorry for them bec

ause no one was paying attention to them. I figured they would like some Korean company since they live in a foreign country, which I understand. But stupid social restrictions made it weird for people to go up and just... talk to them, include them. So, I expressed these views to my friends. Of course they interpreted my concern for the outsiders to be "liking" them. For the record, they were two young men. So all the people privy to this false information made fun of me all day, often within hearing distance of the poor boys, who I assumed couldn't speak English, but actually could. Yay! It didn't stop there, but I'll show you what we saw beforehand.

Does this make you think China? ha, I thought so...

As you can see, it was gorgeous there. Sadly, the prettiness did not lessen my embarrassment.

When we got back from seeing this waterfall (which was a disappointment actually, since we only went up to the falls, and couldn't hike anymore than that, which we were expecting), we went to have lunch.
Here is a diagram of what happened at lunch:

If you don't understand still, let me break it down. I stand up, therefore the weight of the bag makes the chair top-heavy. It falls. I stupidly decide to sit down and then find out what the crash sound was. I fall on my rear end. I die of embarrassment. 

The worst part is that I could tell everyone was embarrassed for me. I kept bursting into laughter, and no one would laugh with me! Some girls said "awww" and patted my hand. Another told me that ladies should not stand up to get food. "Uh... Thanks". Ah, and it was at the table with the guides. hahaha.Well, there's my exciting story of the day! You're welcome. Ha.

Obligatory music video time! I've got two because I'm going for a detective theme today because... um, I guess detective/spy themes are popular now. haha. Well, first I'll address something I'm sure you will wonder. Yes, it is a man. of the male species. I know it's hard to believe. Ah, and there's a girl group who did one too! And I totally would have posted it to show both sides, but its not quite appropriate. Talk about objectifying women... It's videos like that that make me dislike most girl groups.

You Know You Live in Korea when...

Yes! I am going to do a really cliche blog post! Though I should make it more like "You know you live in Korea as a American national when..."

You know you live in Korea when you wear Korean style clothing that would be considered grandma clothes in the US! This is me and two of my roomies dressed up for a birthday party :-D

You know it when...

1. You unconciously use only your right hand to give things or take things from people, while your left hand supports the elbow.
This is because in Korean culture, it's rude to use your left hand to give or accept things. Nowadays, I can't help it. When I come back, see if I do it. 

2. You bow when you greet people.
Yes, I can't help this either. I think it's going to be pretty hilarious when I go home and start bowing to everyone. 

3. You eat other people's food without asking.
This is gonna be bad. See, in Korea (and Asia in general) people share food. Like in restaurants, there is often one big dish that everyone can just eat out of. So in the house, it is relatively common to just go try someone's food without asking. I may have picked up this habit. haha.

4. On the subway, if someone leaves the seat at the end of bench, you scoot down to it, or run for it.
This is something that I find interesting, though logical. I was sitting on the third seat down, and the person on the end left, then the person next to me (in the second seat) scooted over. At first, I thought it was sort of rude, as if they wanted to avoid me. But after a few months of observation, I have concluded that they will always scoot to the end. Weird of me to notice, but it is pretty funny. Maybe they do it in other places too... I don't know.

5. You often use expressions of uncertainty like "it seems like" or "maybe", even when you are perfectly sure.
This one is super annoying. In the Korean language, it more polite to speak on uncertain terms. They are not likely to just say "We should do this" or "This is it" and more likely to say "Maybe we should do this" and "It seems like this is it" even though they mean the former. Arrrgh they even translate it to english and I never know whether it's actually maybe or not. Sadly enough, I now do the same, sticking maybe in front of a lot of sure things. :-/ haha

6. You compliment people on their English whether they're that good or not.
I picked this up from the Koreans, who, even if you just say one word of Korean (like annyeonghaseyo, hello) they say with wonder "Ooooh you're good at Korean!" It's rather off-putting, since I never even got a chance to try out my true skills, and they're already saying I'm good. It has to do with their very low expectations for foreigners. 

7. You hear English and you get surprised.

8. You mix up your l's and r's and in general lose most of your English skill.
This applies only to native speakers. It's really annoying. 

9. You give weird looks to foreigners and whisper "외국인"(korean word for foreigner) hostilely behind their backs.
I don't know why I do this. Maybe I'm protective of my territory hahaha. Koreans don't do this, but kids will often say "hello! hi!" to us. They're cute.

10. You don't feel safe in Itaewon, a place know for foreigners.
I know... It's sad. But seriously, I don't feel safe around foreigners! I'll walk down a dark alley of Koreans, but never one of foreigners. 

11. You forget how to use sarcasm and/or wit.
ㅠㅠ This I am most sad about. I seriously am going to take offense at everything everyone says when I come back home, just because Korea doesn't use sarcasm.

12. You introduce yourself with the Korean pronunciation of your name, knowing they'd never get it otherwise.
Mine's Leh-ee-chell. hahahaha. 

13. K-pop becomes normal.
Is this possible? I'm sure you guys have heard of/seen the Psy music video "Gangnam Style". Well, my friends. In Korea-land, that's pretty normal. The bright colors, ridiculous costumes, pretty people (minus Psy of course ha)... it's all everyday stuff. No, normal people don't go around like that, but it's accepted as normal entertainment. It no longer makes me giggle, and I don't even make fun of it anymore... I am a shameless kpop listener! 

And you know you live in the Anyang University International House, when...

14. Sleep? What is this sleep you speak of?

15. You've forgotten what quiet is like.

16. Someone asks you what food you're making and your answer is "I don't know..." every time.
We have a tendency to just throw whatever we have together in some sort of stir-fry. So don't ask us what it is.

17. You think hearing German, Spanish, Danish, and Chinese on a daily basis is normal.

18. You create fake familial relationships. I have a 30 year old son. My roommates both have dads that are only a few years older than them.

19. emart boxes + rainy day = emart robot.

Originally, I was inside it... but it was not that comfortable haha. 
















20. There are so many inside jokes you can't count.

21. You tend to adopt your housemates language habits, whether english or not. "En serio!" "It's too much..." "It is not possible" "Is that normal?" "你的屁股很臭" (Your butt smells... hahahaha).

22. It's too dirty ㅠㅠ

23. You have to wait to shower or to cook.

24. At least one person will come home drunk everyday...

25. Everyday is a learning experience!


And here is an example of one of those "normal" music videos that are soooo crazy.